lexicon noun
1: a language user's knowledge of words [syn: vocabulary, mental lexicon] 2: a reference book containing an alphabetical list of words with information about them [syn: dictionary]

random definitions

godwottery n.   1. Gardening marked by an affected and elaborate style. 2. Affected use of archaic language.

lipogram n.   A piece of writing that avoids one or more letters of the alphabet.

neologist n.   One who coins, uses, or introduces new words, or redefines old words in a language.
[From Greek neo- (new) + logos (word).]

Welsh Scrabble
The newest language to get a Scrabble version of the game is Welsh. It does not contain some of the highest-scoring letters in the English version of the board game such as 'Q' and 'Z' but features tiles with combinations used in Welsh such as 'LL' and 'DD'. Experts have calculated one of the highest scoring words in the Welsh game is "angenrheidiaeth" ("necessity"), which could yield 164 points. (source: Reuters)
stats:
• Average number of words in the written vocabulary of a 6- to 14-year-old American child in 1945: 25,000 ~ Harper's Index, August 2000
• Average number today: 10,000 ~ Harper's Index, August 2000
my 10 favorite oxymorons:
act naturally • airline food • legally drunk • soft rock • Christian Scientists • clearly misunderstood • tight slacks • pretty ugly • rap music • jumbo shrimp
my favorite palindrome:
Kay, a red nude, peeped under a yak.
vocabulary words used in a sentence: (princeton review)
The following sentences appear in Word Smart II, published by the Princeton Review to help students prepare for standardized exams. In December, after receiving complaints about the violent nature of some of the sentences used to illustrate vocabulary words, the Princeton Review announced that it would recall the book, which has been in use since 1992. Vocabulary words are in bold text.

spanish-english:
From a Spanish-English dictionary, designed to facilitate conversations between street cops and civilians, written by Dr. Roger W Miller, who trains law-enforcement personnel in Arizona. Entries were selected based on "personal knowledge; words students had heard on the street; Mexican newspapers and magazines; words from the songs of música norteña (Mexican gangster rap) that describe encounters with the police; ride-alongs; and local Spanish-speaking radio and TV stations." The dictionary gives sample sentences in both English and Spanish; English examples are listed below.

translations:
Bite the wax tadpole.
~ Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese

Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave.
~ "Pepsi Comes Alive" as originally translated into Chinese

Please leave your values at the front desk.
~ In a Paris hotel elevator

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
~ In a Yugoslavian hotel

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
~ In a Japanese hotelv

For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
~ In a Hong Kong supermarket

Drop your trousers here for best results.
~ In a Bangkok dry cleaner's window

Would you like to ride on your own ass?
~ Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
~ From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo

word types:
Charade: Dividing a word, without changing the letter order, into other words that are not semantically related to the original. E.g.: amiable together (Am I able to get her?), attendance, significant.

Alternade: An alternade is a word with letters that, when read alternately, form two other words. So the first, third, fifth, etc. letters in the word form a new word, and so do the second, fourth, sixth and so on. Each of the hidden words is called a "nade." Some examples include:

Isogram: A word that contains no repeated letters. Also called a nonpattern word. E.g.: postneuralgic, ambidextrously, dermatoglyphics, and uncopyrightable.

Chronogram: A statement whose initial letters can be deciphered as the Roman numerals for a specific, appropriate date. E.g.: MCDXCII > "Made certain discoveries extraordinaire," Columbus informed Isabella. (1492).

Abecedarian word: A word whose letters appear in alphabetical order. E.g.: almost, billowy.

Retronym: National Public Radio President Frank Mankiewicz's term for a new adjective-noun word, the need for which arises because of newer senses of the noun. E.g.: hardcover book, stage play, natural turf.

Pangram: A phrase or sentence containing all 26 letters of the alphabet, ideally repeating as few letters as possible. Examples:

pumpernickel noun
A dark, sourish bread made from whole, coarsely ground rye.
[German probably from dialectal term of abuse: obsolete Pumper, breaking wind (from dialectal pumpern, to break wind) (from Middle High German to knock, frequentative of pumpen, of imitative origin) + German Nickel, goblin; see nickel.]

So I guess you could say that pumpernickel can be loosely translated as a farting goblin. Very nice. ~ Woodge

a spelling lesson for tv-weened eejits:
it's vs. its
"it's" is a contraction of "it is" and "its" is possessive

Example:
It's a damn shame you're so stupid, son. Here, give me the hammer and I'll show you the proper way to skin a cat. It's really quite easy. First, remove its claws....

there vs. their vs. they're
"there" is a place, "their" is possessive, and "they're" is a contraction of "they are"

Example:
The neighbors will probably be less impressed with what we've done to their cat, son. They're picky like that. Throw the carcass over there behind their enormous sport utility vehicle.

your vs. you're
"your" is possessive, "you're" is a contraction of "you are"

Example:
Now son, your next course of action is to clean all the blood off that hammer. Unless you're a damned fool, you've got to get rid of the evidence.

floccinaucinihilipilification   noun
The action or habit of judging something to be worthless.

Floccinaucinihilipilification (29 letters) is the longest word in the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. The 2nd edition shows a use of this word in a 1741 letter by William Shenstone (1714-1763), a British poet and essayist. It has been used by Sir Walter Scott and Senators Robert Byrd and Daniel Patrick Moynihan. It was also used by Senator Jesse Helms in 1999 during the debate on the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty.

Floccinaucinihilipilification was also used by Press Secretary Mike McCurry in his December 6, 1995, White House Press Briefing in discussing Congressional Budget Office estimates and assumptions: "But if you — as a practical matter of estimating the economy, the difference is not great. There's a little bit of floccinaucinihilipilification going on here."

For more info, see this link.

See also: the vocabulary page.

Language is paradox.
~ Constance Hale

select links:

vocabulary words used in a sentence (ebonics)
  • acoustic: When I was liddle, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to da pool hall.
  • catacomb: Don King was at the fight the other night, man, somebody give that catacomb.
  • disappointment: My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the big house.
  • foreclose: If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money foreclose.
  • fortify: I axed da ho how much? And she say fortify.
  • hotel: I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the hotel everybody.
  • income: I just got in bed wit da ho and income my wife.
  • Israel: Alonso tried to sell me a rolex, I said man, that looks fake. He said, no israel.
  • odyssey: I told my bro, you odyssey the jugs on this ho.
  • omelette: I should punch you dead in yo eye fo what you jus said, but omelette dis one slide.
  • penis: I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said penis.
  • rectum: I had two cadillacs, but my ol'lady rectum both.
  • seldom: My cousin gave me two tickets to the knicks game, so I seldom.
  • stain: My mother-in-law axed if I was stain for dinner again.
  • Tripoli: I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn't fine no tripoli.
  • undermine: There is a fine lookin' ho livin' in the apartment undermine.
advice:
Don't use a big word where a diminutive word will suffice.
from the washington post's alternate word-meaning contest (possibly apocryphal, see below):
  • Abdicate: To give up hope of having a flat stomach.
  • Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
  • Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
  • Coffee: A person who's coughed on.
  • Rectitude: The dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist.
New words and definitions
This contest makes the internet rounds as "Washington Post's Mensa Invitational", yet it is fictional. Who'd a thunk it?! Anyway, the object is to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

  • Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  • Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  • Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  • Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  • Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  • Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  • Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  • Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
  • Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  • Glibido: All talk and no action.
  • Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  • Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  • Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  • Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

spelling errors that really tick me off:
alot • definately • chaise lounge • ect. • expresso • vica versa • your (you're) • there (they're) • it's (its)
words that are fun to say:
clandestine • particulates • excruciating • mellifluent • ponderous • labyrinthine • xenophobe • fester • two-fer • euphonious • onomatopaeia • serendipitous • quixotic • tawdry • pontoon • barnacle • trousers • beatitude • tryst • fickle • feral • hover • sonorous • salivate • sartorial • booty • iridescent • trounce • duct • dulcet • cryptic • fatuous • malleable • protean • insouciant • vapid • lurid • and "Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!"
spelling bee winners
The 2001 National Spelling Bee winner, Sean Conley, 13, took home $10,000 after winning the contest with the word succedaneum.

13-year-old Anurag Kashyap clinched the 2005 national spelling bee championship by correctly spelling appoggiatura, an embellishing note in music.

spot the fake j. crew color
The following list of colors was taken from a past J. Crew catalog — with one exception. Can you find it?

bark • birch • blue zinc • bottle • brick • cadet • celestial • cement • charcoal • claret • clover • cognac • dew • eggplant • espresso • fern • haze • ink • lead • leaf • lichen • marigold • midnight • mineral • morose • moss • mulberry • mushroom • natural • oxblood • oxide • peat • persimmon • petrol • port • Prussian • putty • rice • robin's egg • sand • sea • sky • steel • sunset • surplus • twig • walnut • wine

foreign words:
Hawaiian:
humuhumunukunukuapua'a means 'triggerfish with a snout like a pig' ... so you can probably guess what SeanMcNallynukunukuapua'a means.

Mexican Spanish:
mensa is slang for 'idiot'

Swedish:
gift means both 'married' and 'poison'

riddle:
How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
superior words:
The following definitions are taken from The Superior Person's Book of Words by Peter Bowler, a book which was given to me by my darling wife who knows me all too well.

aprosexia n. Inability to concentrate.
~ Not, as incautiously may be assumed, après-sex activities. Useful when completing the "nature of illness" section on your sick-leave application form.

biggin n. A silver coffee pot with a separate container which holds the coffee as it is heated.
~ Always make a point of asking your hostess at least once during the evening if she has a biggin.

decorticate v. To strip or otherwise remove the bark, or husk, from; in other words, to peel.
~ "Would you care to decorticate a grape for me, O my beloved?"

ergasiophobia n. Fear of, or aversion to, work; diffidence about tackling the job.
~ Another good word to use on sick-leave application forms.

exungulate v. To trim or cut the nails or hoofs.
~ "Mom, it really is too much! I wish you could do something about it; it makes me sick. Richard is in the bathroom exungulating himself again."

famulus n. A medieval sorcerer's apprentice.
~ A pleasing appellation for your husband when he is helping you in the kitchen by peeling the potatoes, drying the dishes, etc. -- or when you are entertaining, "Come into the living room and make yourself comfortable while I have my famulus mix some drinks."

formicate v. To swarm like ants.
~ "Principal, I thought you ought to know — the Seventh Grade is formicating all over the quadrangle."

superior words, part 2:
The following are taken from the second book in the series:

horrisonant adj. Sounding terrible. Your neighbor's cornet practice; your son's rap records; almost any modern so-called "serious" music; and the piano music of Scott Joplin.

interbastation n. Evoking as it does an impression of some unseemly form of sexual congress, this word could be useful for the disturbing of maiden aunts — especially since the actual meaning is "quilting."

molendinaceous adj. Like a windmill. Mode of motion of two post-pubertal teenagers vying to be first to get downstairs, into the car, etc.

onomasticon n. An ordered list of names. "Mom, Hugo's in his bedroom, using the phone book as his personal onomasticon again! Can't you do anything about it? It's just disgusting!"

smatchet n. A small, nasty person, or a nasty child. "Why, Carol — you've brought the twins! Gosh, when I see them together — smatchet and smatchet — I think I'm seeing double!"

memorization
Actor Charles Macklin (1697?-1797) once claimed that he could memorize anything. Upon hearing this, Samuel Foote (1720-1777) rose to the challenge and spouted off the following paragraph on the spot. Macklin is said to have refused to repeat a word of it.

"So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf to make an apple-pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street, pops its head into the shop. "What! No soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber: and there were present the Picninnies, and the Joblillies, and the Garyulies, and the grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch-as-catch-can till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots."

wench:
There are many good words out there, but wench stands out as one of my favorites.

wench noun
1: A young woman or girl, especially a peasant girl.
2: A woman servant.
3: A wanton woman; a prostitute.

v. intr. wenched, wench·ing, wench·es.
1: To engage in promiscuous sex with women.
2: To frequent the company of wenches, or women of ill fame.

Wench is a word that is satisfying to say. It's a word that when tossed out into conversation, lands with a delicious wet slop as if it were a drenched hand towel callously flung upon a tiled bathroom floor. And not only is it fun to say, but there doesn't seem to be a male version of the word with a similar flair. Chaucer has a line which goes: "Lord and lady, groom and wench" which would seem to pair it with groom, but that doesn't work for reasons which should be obvious. And it's this singular quality which I, as an obnoxious man, find especially gratifying.

Used properly, I envision the word to be used in the following way:

"Come here, you brazen wench!" he demanded with a wave of his hand, sloshing his drink upon the floor.
"Yes, milord!" giggled the buxom maiden with an eager flush.